The city in which I live has a pretty big cemetery in the middle of it. Despite living here for over a decade, I have yet to set foot inside it. I’ve been told its gorgeous but if there are rotting bodies, count me out.
This particular cemetery has had a few brow-raising messages on its marquee lately. The first:
One would think that a cemetery would not be concerned about safety in the slightest. The less safe people are, the more business they’ll get. Perhaps it’s a ploy. Maybe they tell people to wear dark clothes, that the best rides are late at night down busy streets, and that helmets are for losers.
Then there was this sign:
This is my favorite cemetery. What’s yours? I can just imagine reading on my news feed, “Bob Smith posted on Cemetery’s wall, ‘I’m not feeling too well and I keep coughing up blood.'”
What sign will be next? Here are a few options I’m throwing out there.
How to Stay Healthy Seminar – Sponsored by Philip Morris
Alcohol: The Elixir of Life
The Raw Diet: Eat More Raw Meat
We’re Plotting Your Demise
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