Fred refuses to go to the paint-your-own-pottery studio with me. So the last time Jess visited, I dragged her in there. She didn’t want to go but I whined enough until she caved. She didn’t want to make anything for herself, though, and decided instead to paint a mug for me. I was feeling adventurous so instead of doing my usual bowl or mug, I went for the jar with a lid.
As I painted away at my jar (not much creativity there – just a few different colors slapped on the inside and outside), Jess pondered what to put on my mug. When inspiration hit her, she pulled out her driver’s license. The state in which Jess lives no longer allows people to smile when getting a license. The picture is also printed in black and white. This is supposed to help cops identify features of people better. Still, the first time I saw it, I gave out a little yelp. Jess looked like a zombie in the picture, ready to eat my brain. She knew it was an awful picture, and that’s exactly what she decided to paint on one side of my mug. She called it the ugly mug. Then she wanted to paint something on the other side of the mug and, in sticking with the theme, painted a butt, complete with a thong and zits. This was the butt ugly mug side.
I’ll save everyone from having to view the zombie picture of Jess but here’s the butt ugly side: