Recently, I decided to uproot my life. For the past 13 years, I’ve been in the same city and working the same job for the past 9 (4 years were spent in college). It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, when I saw a picture of my sister and my new nephew, that I decided I needed to be with them. It was a strong, overwhelming feeling that hit me out of the blue and once it did, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Currently, I live in the Midwest and my sister lives on the East Coast, a good 11 hour drive away. Flying is, of course, much faster, but neither of us makes a great deal of money and we typically cannot see each other but twice a year. This is hard for both of us, as we are very close; we’re closer now than when we were kids. But when I saw that photo, all I could think of was, “I want to see this kid grow up.” That led to thoughts about the rest of my family. Sure, my cousins, aunt, and uncle live in the Midwest, too, but my parents are also on the East Coast. I don’t see them nearly as much as I would like, either. My other aunt lives in New York and I haven’t seen her in probably 6 or 7 years. Holidays are usually spent alone or with surrogate families since mine are so far away. I started daydreaming about Christmas with all of us sitting around a tree, watching my nephew rip open his presents. What I wouldn’t give to make that scene a reality! But working retail doesn’t give me the opportunity to have time off around the holidays for travel. Then I started thinking about my sister and how she’s starting this amazing journey of motherhood and what I would do to help her any way I could. But how much could I really help being so far away?
The solution seemed so simple: move to the same town. What is keeping me in the Midwest anyway? I’m single, so no attachment there. Yes, I love my friends and have a great support system here, but that’s it. That’s the only reason I’ve stayed where I have for so long: my friends. They have become my second family. I love them all dearly, but I need to focus on my actual family now.
So, I’ve started looking for jobs in Jess’ town. I can transfer stores with my current employer, but it’s not a guaranteed job so I’m not putting all my eggs in that basket. Since I haven’t secured a job yet, I cannot continue to the next step of the plan, which is packing up my stuff and getting ready to say goodbye. I’ve told my coworkers and friends (many of them knew before Jess did, but that’s a whole other story) and they’re all asking when. I don’t know. I won’t know until I get a job and waiting for a phone call for an interview has been agonizing. It’s the one thing that needs to happen (I can’t not work – there are bills to pay!) and I cannot force anyone’s hand into giving me a job ASAP.
I thought that making the decision to uproot my life and move someplace where I only know two people would be the hardest part. After all, I’m the type of person who likes to stay firmly in the middle of my comfort zone, not even get close to the edge. Moving would be WAY out of my comfort zone, but I haven’t felt very scared about it like I thought I would. Moving feels like the right thing to do and I want it to happen quickly. No, the move doesn’t seem nearly as bad as the waiting. As they say, waiting is the hardest part…
Mom, Jess, and me. Jess is showing me a Fisher Price picture she “took” of me. (1980)
Me and Jess outside a vineyard in her hometown. (2010)
